The Importance Of Feedback
You never know where a good idea might come from
Feedback is definitely a delicate balance from sounding like nagging or complaining to something that is actionable and grounded from a logical perspective. How do you tell someone they pissed you off without it sounding like you are saying “you dumb idiot”? Another thing about feedback is you can be receiving it from someone lower on the ladder. If we want to grow and get better at what we do, then we might want to listen to what folks around us have to say. You truly never know where a good idea might come from. I believe that with all my heart. Everyone has value because of the different experiences and perspectives they bring. What a valuable asset!
A while back at Board & Vellum we realized we all could do better with giving and receiving feedback. In-between my normal duties, I read a bunch of books and listen to podcasts to see how others have approached feedback. I worked with a couple of co-workers (thanks Michelle and Hailey) and we came up with a talk we could give the office. At our annual retreat, we discussed feedback and communication, using parts of what we learned from our research and personal experiences. It was exciting to be a part of it.
Start with getting a good understanding of where you are now by asking these questions
Are there voices missing from group discussions?
Communication can be dominated by the loudest voice, are people talking over each other?
How and when do you have the delicate conversations?
Do you have knowledge in-house that you are not utilizing to the fullest potential?
Are you asking yourself, do you know what you need to work on and what your strengths are?
Do others see you the same way as you see yourself?
Why is this important
Working in a place that has open communication leads to less problems down the road. There are these things called “thinking errors”. A classic “thinking error” is when you are driving a car and someone cuts you off. You can think “that guy is a jerk and cut me off just to make me angry” or you can think “wow this person really needs to come over, I should get out of their way.” If you go with the latter, you will feel good like you helped someone as opposed to being frustrated all day. When we don’t give feedback or let others know why we are making the decisions we are making, people inherently will make up their own reasons and bottle it up. This causes stress and confidence can go way down over time. If you make a mistake and you are simply told “you did a bad job on this, don’t do it again.” How can you fix that? You obviously wanted to do it right, but you didn’t. How can you have the confidence to do it right the next time? Feedback needs to be given in a constructive way so folks learn and we all grow together. Maybe they did it wrong because you had a different vision in your head. Ask, why did they make the choice they made? We are always learning even if you think you already know. Take the time to explain your thinking and you all will be on the same page and silly mistakes will be fixed. If someone is not wanting to improve or make positive changes, then why are they here? Time to find something else that better utilizes their skills.
Different types of feedback givers
In our talk at the retreat, we identified 3 different types of feedback givers. The goal of giving feedback is to give someone some actionable items that they can take to improve in some way. Not all feedback needs to be bad. You can give good feedback as well.
Obnoxious Aggression: This is when someone is being argumentative or poking fun and hiding it in “feedback”. This is not constructive and will not provide actionable items for improvement.
“That’s dumb”
“Your drawing looks like a 5 year old made it”
“That’s an option…” (sarcastic voice)
Frank Aggression: This is when someone uses the line “let me be frank” before they give their feedback. Most of the time this feedback is harsh and doesn’t take the human side into effect. Remember that the point of feedback is to empower someone to take what you tell them and give them confidence to overcome the challenge. If you are only giving blunt criticism to someone, they will shut down and big improvements are out the window. We should be empathetic when giving feedback, because we were probably in their shoes at one point in our own life.
“Let me frank, these plans are awful and it looks like you didn’t even try.”
“Let me be frank, you are bad at this.”
Candid Compassion: This is an empathetic approach to giving feedback. Share honest observations and speak to them like they are a person. First start with the “Situation” (context, time, place), then the “Action” (what was said or done), then the “Effect” (what their actions impacted). This idea came from the book “Radical Candor” by Kim Scott and it really resonated with me.
“(Situation) When we were in that client meeting, (Action) you presented an idea that was not as developed as your other ideas. In our last meeting, the clients didn’t react well to the less developed ideas. (Effect) I worry that presenting the less developed option made us look like we didn’t care or that we didn’t listen last time they were in here. I want to make sure that we continue to build trust with our clients. What are your thoughts?”
Now the individual has actual feedback. They understand your perspective. If I were to receive feedback like this, I would definitely make sure all the ideas were equally developed next time. If I did not agree with how the clients reacted to the meeting, it opens up a discussion to allow me to give my thoughts on the matter and we can come to an agreement on next actionable steps. Remember the goal is to improve and grow.
Giving and receiving feedback
Receiving feedback can be tough sometimes because so many folks just half-ass it. Even “Candid Compassion” feedback can make someone upset. When you are receiving feedback, it’s hard to not have ‘thinking errors’ while you are listening. We have to shut off our feelings for a moment and just think logically about what they are saying. Just remember, they are trying to help you grow or clear something up. If they didn’t care, they wouldn’t say anything and just let you fail. It takes a lot of courage for someone to give someone else feedback and I guarantee it will make you both stronger. When you get feedback it’s important to listen and ask questions. Try to not get upset and give feedback on the feedback as a response. This will only make things worse. Take the actionable items, discuss them, and get an understanding on what can be improved.
Conclusion
I encourage folks to give and receive feedback both good and bad, up and down the ladder. This will help make stronger teams and organizations. Confidence in work will go up and everyone will become more effective. I can speak from first hand experience that when people are not talking because they are scare of hurting someone’s feelings, organizations struggle to keep folks happy and engaged. I believe that giving and receive feedback pushes industries forward.
November, 2019